ADIE 4

Sorry for being MIA for so many days. Too many things going on - grants, deadlines, new home buying, the new Harry Potter movie - and planning the upcoming trip to India.

Anyways, where was I? In the first few weeks of being in SMC. So rapidly came along the first evaluation in anatomy. By that time we have jelled in a little bit more, made introductions and the initial buds of long-lasting friendships were forming. There were more girls in my dissection group than boys and after languishing in the periphery for few days, I quickly realized that if I read a little bit of anatomy from a good book the evening earlier, I could command some respect in the next afternoon and lots of attention from the girls. So, I gradually became the lead dissector in the group and enjoyed the favor of attention. Same thing did not happen to my roommate M, who was a little shy; one day he was turned out because he was seen carrying the Gray's anatomy in the dissection room and our demonstrator shouted at him as the 'mass of confused protoplasm'. Anyways, then came along our first evaluation with 'palm dissection'. All were stressed out with all the longus and brevis tendons but some took it very seriously including my roommate M. On the evening prior to the evaluation which was slated for noon next day - few of us spent trying to clear the confusion of palm anatomy for few hours but did not make much headway and then proceeded to the canteen for our dinner. My roommate stayed behind immersed in study. I went to another room after dinner and spent more time gossiping with the other group of friends whose evaluation was on 'perineal anatomy' and you can pretty much guess the jokes. At 11 PM I came back to my room , saw my roommate still studying - he had got his dinner delivered to the room; I told him that I did not think any of us are going to do well and it does not really matter in the long run and he should relax and go to sleep. He said he will in about a hour - one more chapter to go through. I, however, went to bed and within a few minutes was in deep slumber. Now I wonder how could I sleep in that small room with all the lights on - but we were young at that time. I woke up at about 3 AM in the morning with loud thuds on the door - it was a November cold night - walked up to the door and saw it was half open and the guard standing there. He asked me where is your roommate? I said he is sleeping on the other bed under the net and we both looked - M was not there.
The guard rushed me to the tennis court on the ground floor and in the twilight I saw a heap lying on the floor - moaning with my name in a very labored fashion.

M died next day about noon time - he had jumped from the terrace, had multiple visceral trauma including a ruptured spleen and liver and the femoral heads smashing in to the pelvis. Our evaluation was deferred indefinitely. The whole class silently cried for nearly a week. I changed the hostel and came to live permanently in hostel II. I met his parents later during his last rites - and I still remember his father's last words to me - stay in touch - you are M for us now onwards. I never met them again til date but I do make a point to remember him at points of interest in my medical career even now. I mentally share my successes and failures with him - he had chosen to share his room with me. I still wonder what was it that killed him- stress, depression, inability to cope with the shortcomings, or an odd-ball malfunctioning neurotransmitter masquerading as a chance thought .